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I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but maybe we should just lose all three group games and get out of there. No one wants to be there - not the FA, the fans, even the free-loading dignitaries and politicians might be giving the five-star trough a swerve after the spy poisoning. On the...

It's OK when James Bond does it...he's British. A bit like everyone else is a drug cheat, but we are usually 'unlucky victims of an innocent decongestant'.