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Many years ago, in the pre-internet age, my parents went on holiday for two weeks. I didn't know they had changed the washing machine so put my work shirts in on Friday night, turned the dial and they seemed to wash. What I couldn't work out was how to empty the water out to open the door...

Have managed the majority of away games this season as it is my son's first experience of top flight football. Daren't think how much it has cost in tickets, travel, food and drink for two of us. Took my daughter on a shopping trip recently to try and balance things out a bit and will be...