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So he brings the ball out of defense like Maldini, makes more interceptions than England's two first choice defenders, throws himself in front of shots a la John Terry and Jamie Carragher and can ping inch perfect 50 yard passes. Southgate's a Palace **** isn't he?

If everyone could play like Paolo Maldini there'd be no need to quote him. Xabi Alonso was never a defender. And that quote is one of the most pretentious football quotes ever, said at the time of Spain's tiki taka dominance. Phil Jones, Gary Cahill, Michael Keane, Chris Smalling et al are...