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When we are 2-0 down I actually do give a ****, as I find it quite distressing. It can positively ruin my day. Whilst I accept we MAY be going up, it's also pretty presumptuous to state that we are.

I don't believe Rafa is, or has ever been, employed as a waiter, so that particular chant is only 66.6% correct.

They don't all live in houses owned and let to them by former striker and now property investor Robbie Fowler either. Especially the ones that live in the home counties.

Emmanuel Adebayor's father died in 2005, so he has no occupation.

Bubbles was Michael Jackson's pet monkey, so perhaps only he could legitimately claim the words of the song were accurate, although 'forever' is probably exaggerating a bit - he would have needed time to fit in various sessions of plastic surgery and stuff.

CMS was never really 'scoring goals for fun', and spent more time chasing the ball after a poor first touch than he did 'chasing down defenders'