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It is physically impossible and dangerous for one person to have eaten all the pies, many would have been consumed before the kick off anyway, the accused weight problem could, in fact, be glandular or due to a depressive state of mind. I suggest a bit more thought is needed with this particular...

I have met a few clean northerners and their fathers.

Now don't get me wrong, I really, really, really like Brighton and Hove Albion. But the best side the world has ever seen is, quite frankly, pushing it a bit.

Leeds fans are liars,basically. I have never seen them marching together anywhere. Strolling towards a ground,yes. Walking away from a ground,yes. Running towards and away from other fans,definitely. But marching, never.

As far as i am aware Barry Fry does not **********.

Not all scousers eat out of dustbins.

I never got my ******* head kicked in, so that was just an idle threat. And only a thin but very long part of Sussex is by the sea, so that wrong as well. I never once saw an Albion player pull a rabbit out of a hat or produce some doves from nowhere whilst on the field of play, so why did...