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It'll be quite a race for the bottom three places between the various village teams. Bournemouth, Swansea and Hull also look to be giving it a good go with some of their dealings (or lack of same, in Hull's case).

Positive: Pritchard will either spend half his miserable money-grabbing life driving up the soul-annihilating M11 and A11, or give that up and move in among the six-fingered. Negative: His agent, who engineered the whole Narch thing after agreeing a deal with us, won't have to do the same.

Very well put. One of those ends-of-the-earth, back-of-beyond clubs that most people (and certainly most football writers) would rather quietly disappeared. See also: Swansea, Bournemouth, Middlesbrough, Hull.

Good luck to him if he does sign for Narch. Apart from the season-ending injury he suffers in training, of course.