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Sussex By The Sea on the trumpet makes it all worthwhile!

Dr Eva, please.

"Some clubs are bigger than others. Some clubs are bigger than others. Some clubs' owners are bigger than other clubs' owners."

Ah, the amount of times I heard the refrain, "Don't let his grandfather hear you say that," at Withdean.

I remember belting out the slow version at The Goldstone. It was more 'Aaaaaal-baaaaaay-eeeeeeern' back then, though. I know that because I've been too sad to sing at a match since the first season at The Priestfield.

Older than me nan.

Divinely Ordained United Committee Highlighting the Embarrassing Brigands Associated with the Game of Soccer.

Bisketball; Two teams of people who cannot spell throwing a small baked unleavened cake around a court.

Smoked Salmond?

When I were a lad, there was a cupboard at school where the chosen few were allowed to select an instrument to accompany the hymns in assembly. If you were first in, you got to select the best instrument. Sorry, HT, but that tended to be the bongos or the tambourine with the drum skin. If you...

Steve Evans is everywhere.

"Do you take this lady to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

The Lohan.

Make that eleven.

"Look at his face. Just look at his face."

Exactly. Some people are so selfie-righteous.