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[Misc] Anyone keep chickens? WTAF did I agree to it?







AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,839
Ruislip
I got persuaded to agree to us keeping a few chickens.

By the time I'm done with buying a coop, bedding, feed, drinkers, feeders, grit, tonics, sanitisers, tonics, toys, shelter, sandpit, hardwood chippings for the run (no bark allowed), f***ing Fort Knox 500SqFt run (we have badgers and foxes living in the garden), I reckon the eggs will be about £20 each. Oh, and that's before I've bought the sodding chickens (between £30 and £50 each - WTF?!!).

"Oh, but [12-month old baby G1976] will love it. Won't you love her little face when she collects the eggs?"

"She can help me kill them when they get too old. Perhaps she'll like plucking them?"

Any chicken keepers on here? Please tell me that there is some benefit to put into my mental cost:benefit calculation, because I'm currently seeing pretty much only downside.

We get our eggs from here, going today actually.
If yr up to it, you could sell yr eggs similarly, nor too far I guess :lol:
 


SeagullinExile

Well-known member
Sep 10, 2010
5,713
London
All true, of course. But where's the fun in that?
And anything you produce yourself always tastes better.
Beer? Every home brew I’ve ever tried tasted like the devil’s spunk.
 


Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
10,959
Crawley
Not got any currently, but liked having them. Wife wanted them, is a good introduction to kids in looking after animals, and where food comes from. The negatives were how vicious they can be with eachother, dealing with prolapsed vents, and finishing them off when they are old and sick, or just keep prolapsing.
I would avoid keeping the hybrid layers, no good for eating, and not very healthy birds as they are genetically selected for high egg production which is stressful, you will deal with more prolapses, twisted or blocked oviducts etc. with these. Light Sussex hens produce fewer eggs, but you will still have plenty for yourself, and whilst not the meatiest for eating, are worthwhile cutting the breast out. If its an old one that has got ill, put the meat in the freezer for a week or two, it will be less tough.
 


Cotton Socks

Skint Supporter
Feb 20, 2017
1,735
I got persuaded to agree to us keeping a few chickens.

By the time I'm done with buying a coop, bedding, feed, drinkers, feeders, grit, tonics, sanitisers, tonics, toys, shelter, sandpit, hardwood chippings for the run (no bark allowed), f***ing Fort Knox 500SqFt run (we have badgers and foxes living in the garden), I reckon the eggs will be about £20 each. Oh, and that's before I've bought the sodding chickens (between £30 and £50 each - WTF?!!).

"Oh, but [12-month old baby G1976] will love it. Won't you love her little face when she collects the eggs?"

"She can help me kill them when they get too old. Perhaps she'll like plucking them?"

Any chicken keepers on here? Please tell me that there is some benefit to put into my mental cost:benefit calculation, because I'm currently seeing pretty much only downside.
You're going to be the eggsecutioner, that won't be a cracking job.
 






Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Patron
Oct 27, 2003
21,045
The arse end of Hangleton
Absolute waste of time and money .

Eggs are cheap
Chickens are cheap.
Fertiliser is cheap.
Eggs are indeed cheap in a supermarket ...... but up to six weeks old. Not comparable to a freshly laid egg that morning.
 






The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 11, 2016
24,544
West is BEST
I can see the appeal.

I get fresh eggs from a farm shop near me. Not the supermarket and chicken from the butcher.



So for me, keeping chickens would be pointless.
 


Dick Knights Mumm

Take me Home Falmer Road
Jul 5, 2003
19,622
Hither and Thither
Do not let them near a lawn. They’ll rip it up. Do not let them near a patio. They’ll shit all over it. Don’t let them near any windows when you are inside. It’ll be like the set of The Birds. Nightmare. Buy your eggs.
 


Chicken Run

Member Since Jul 2003
NSC Patron
Jul 17, 2003
18,494
Valley of Hangleton
I’m certain i told this story years ago but in the early 00’s i had three hens in my suburban garden just before a period of avian flu struck, my then wife whilst away visiting relatives in the USA gave me clear instructions that the hens had to go before she was back!

I couldn’t kill an animal and naturally tried to sell them and the equipment, in the end i couldn’t give the buggers away, so at home they stayed.

The wife returned home with the kids and went bat shit , soon after the relationship went south for many reasons eventually leading her to petitioning for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.

About a month later i received the first contact from her lawyer setting out the seven behaviours, I kid you not number 5 was “Failure to dispose of Domestic chickens against Government Advice”

Happy days 😃
 




Happy Exile

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Apr 19, 2018
1,874
We kept chickens when Mini-Exile was younger. They're fantastic pets with proper personalities. We had two that would jump up on our laps for a cuddle whenever we sat in the garden, another that would follow Mini-Exile around, and we never had any problem with rats, foxes or anything else. They lived well past laying age and all died of old age. We've now got a cat, and I can honestly say the chickens were better pets (as well as giving us eggs). They will trash your garden though so prepare for that...we sectioned off an area for them in anticipation.
 










Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
24,896
Worthing
What came first…. The chicken or the vets bill ?
 








Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
50,298
Faversham
I got persuaded to agree to us keeping a few chickens.

By the time I'm done with buying a coop, bedding, feed, drinkers, feeders, grit, tonics, sanitisers, tonics, toys, shelter, sandpit, hardwood chippings for the run (no bark allowed), f***ing Fort Knox 500SqFt run (we have badgers and foxes living in the garden), I reckon the eggs will be about £20 each. Oh, and that's before I've bought the sodding chickens (between £30 and £50 each - WTF?!!).

"Oh, but [12-month old baby G1976] will love it. Won't you love her little face when she collects the eggs?"

"She can help me kill them when they get too old. Perhaps she'll like plucking them?"

Any chicken keepers on here? Please tell me that there is some benefit to put into my mental cost:benefit calculation, because I'm currently seeing pretty much only downside.
When you say you have badgers and foxes living in your 'garden', why not leave all the hard work with your gamekeeper? The jobs that need to be done at Balmoral aren't particularly onerous this time of year.
 


Zeberdi

Brighton born & bred
NSC Patron
Oct 20, 2022
4,902
Apropos of nothing much, I'm musing that it's been a while since I've tested the thread ban button... ;)
Banned for banter about bantams? What a poultry reason to cry fowl!
 


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