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[Misc] Having a pet put down and the guilt that follows



sydney

sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,754
town full of eejits
lawros left foot said:
This thread is breaking my heart.

My story is a little different from most, my missus bought me a Dalmatian puppy when I came back from a long deployment to Australia. I’d always wanted a spotty dog, and Spot was perfect, he was a bouncing bundle of energy, not very bright, but, I was absolutely besotted with him. Everything was great until he was 3 years old, and he started to have fits. We took him to the vet, who told us he was epileptic, and gave us medication for him. The drugs held the seizures at bay for a couple of years, but, they started to increase dramatically, and in his last week he would fit at least a dozen times a day. The end came when, during a fit, he bit me quite badly, and having two young sons, both under 4, we couldn’t risk him doing the same to them.

I will always remember the walk to the vets with him , and the walk home without him. Although the vet had said the cause of the seizures was almost certainly a brain tumour, and he could never have recovered, I still feel guilty, over 20 years later.
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don't ....it wasn't down to you , my neighbour makes a career out of taking rescue dogs , getting them settled and trained and then finding them homes , he got an albino bull terrier a few years ago , red eyes the lot , bearing in mind this guy is pretty good with dogs he couldn't train her or sort her out , turned out she was deaf , she bit his wife badly , jumped at her face but got hold of her boob , not a nice turn of events ........she had to go , mrs and i have spoken about the fact that if animals could talk to you the goodbyes would be so much easier ....that walk to and from the vets is horrible....all the best mate.
 




pasty

pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
30,288
West, West, West Sussex
swindonseagull said:
Our springer has had to be put to sleep today, he was 15 suffering bad arthritis in his rear legs, they kept collapsing he was totally deaf and for a few months had become incontinent in the house.

Hardest decision we had to make.

The feeling of guilt is enormous.
But he could not run around or enjoy all the things he used to enjoy.

Sleep well Tenby….
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So sorry for your loss @swindonseagull

As you may have seen in the “dog bore” thread, we went through this on Thursday last week with our old girl Misty.

The guilt dissipates knowing it was 100% the right thing to do, but a week later I still find myself looking up every now and again to see what she’s up to.
 






Fignon's Ponytail

Fignon's Ponytail

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2012
4,131
On the Beach
I had to take our first cat Poppy to the vets in 2017 when it became apparent she wasn't going to get better from illness - on the very day we flew out to Florida for Christmas. Most painful thing I've done, and felt awful for ages afterwards, even though she was 18 and suffering. Cried my eyes out as she curled up and went to sleep in my arms, and will never get over that horrible feeling of guilt. Her ashes are still on our mantelpiece.
Cant say it was my favourite trip ever either, as I ended up in hospital myself on the last day of the holiday with kidney stones and gallbladder trouble, leading on to surgery, a stent, and months of pain thereafter. I've always said it was Poppy getting her own back on me....thanks Pops.
 






MJsGhost

MJsGhost

Oooh Matron, I'm an
NSC Patron
Jun 26, 2009
4,501
East
pasty said:
a week later I still find myself looking up every now and again to see what she’s up to.
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She'll be chasing around, having the best time in the doggie afterlife :)

Fortunately (and hopefully), there's a long way to go yet as he's only 7, but I will be in BITS when the time comes for my furry friend. He's rarely more than 5 yards away from me (day and night) as I work from home. The little plonker even waits for me outside the bathroom.

On the rare occasions I'm at home and he isn't, it's like there's a canine phantom in the house, as I swear he's there next to me.

Before any amateur dog psychologists chip in, I am aware that this level of attachment is not ideal (my wife has mentioned this once or twice :lolol:)

@pasty and @swindonseagull, you have my deepest sympathy for your respective losses. Take solace from the incredible lives you gave them and for making the hard decision to end their suffering. Dogs are ace and we love them even though they can also be dicks (barking at the postie and waking a baby that just doesn't sleep enough being his latest trick)
 


pasty

pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
30,288
West, West, West Sussex
MJsGhost said:
She'll be chasing around, having the best time in the doggie afterlife :)

Fortunately (and hopefully), there's a long way to go yet as he's only 7, but I will be in BITS when the time comes for my furry friend. He's rarely more than 5 yards away from me (day and night) as I work from home. The little plonker even waits for me outside the bathroom.

On the rare occasions I'm at home and he isn't, it's like there's a canine phantom in the house, as I swear he's there next to me.

Before any amateur dog psychologists chip in, I am aware that this level of attachment is not ideal (my wife has mentioned this once or twice :lolol:)

@pasty and @swindonseagull, you have my deepest sympathy for your respective losses. Take solace from the incredible lives you gave them and for making the hard decision to end their suffering. Dogs are ace and we love them even though they can also be dicks (barking at the postie and waking a baby that just doesn't sleep enough being his latest trick)
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Very old photo but Misty often kept me company under my desk when wfh 😂❤️

1708018281605.jpeg
 




bluenitsuj

bluenitsuj

Listen to me!!!
Feb 26, 2011
4,360
Willingdon
It was a year in January since we lost our beloved Megan, a gorgeous golden retriever just 6 weeks short of her 15th birthday.
I still feel incredibly guilty about the decision we had to make, what if keeps going through my mind but I do know it was best for Megan which is the most important thing.
We scattered some of her ashes in Cornwall at Long Rock Beach and also the secluded beach at Trebah Gardens as we spent many happy holidays there with her.
Despite all this, life just isn't the same anymore. A large part of me died when Megan went and still, some days, the grief overwhelms me. The hurt and sadness is debilitating. I cannot even start to think about getting another dog as I would feel guilty and no dog could ever be like Megan. I am sure over time things will change but at the moment life seems to be on hold.
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T

timbha

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
9,908
Sussex
bluenitsuj said:
It was a year in January since we lost our beloved Megan, a gorgeous golden retriever just 6 weeks short of her 15th birthday.
I still feel incredibly guilty about the decision we had to make, what if keeps going through my mind but I do know it was best for Megan which is the most important thing.
We scattered some of her ashes in Cornwall at Long Rock Beach and also the secluded beach at Trebah Gardens as we spent many happy holidays there with her.
Despite all this, life just isn't the same anymore. A large part of me died when Megan went and still, some days, the grief overwhelms me. The hurt and sadness is debilitating. I cannot even start to think about getting another dog as I would feel guilty and no dog could ever be like Megan. I am sure over time things will change but at the moment life seems to be on hold.
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Mate, feel for you and your grief but if you keep punishing yourself you will be doing a dis service to Megan. She was your best friend and loyal companion. You loved her and she loved you back. Don’t let your grief stand in the way of all those happy memories. Go for a quiet walk and have a chat with her. Tell her how much you loved her and still do, and how much you miss her. She might just say something back!!
15 is a grand old age and you should celebrate it.
 


Weststander

Weststander

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Aug 25, 2011
64,087
Withdean area
I’ve always been the one at the vets in these sad situations, starting with the cat of my childhood because my parents were abroad when in my 20’s her time came to go to heaven. I just rely on the words of the vet, when they say the pet is suffering, there is only one humane decision. It’d be selfish of me to procrastinate. I haven’t felt guilt.

Instead the pain never truly goes away. Even now, this chat triggers the heartache from the loss of our adored cat 8 years ago.

But that’s more than outweighed by remembering we gave our pets incredible lives in a pampering hotel, and they repaid the favour with their loyalty, love and fun.
 
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D

dangull

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2013
5,112
The problem with dogs, especially the bigger ones is that they don't live that long in human terms. Cats generally live longer and are less maintenance.
Sightly different characters as well, as they just stick around for what they can get out of their human friend/slave.
 


One Teddy Maybank

One Teddy Maybank

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Aug 4, 2006
21,637
Worthing
Weststander said:
I’ve always been the one at the vets in these sad situations, starting with the cat of my childhood because my parents were abroad when in my 20’s her time came to go to heaven. I just rely on the words of the vet, when they say the pet is suffering, there is only one humane decision. It’d be selfish by me to proscrastinate. I haven’t felt guilt.

Instead the pain never truly goes away. Even now, this chat triggers the heartache from the loss of our adored cat 8 years ago.

But that’s more than outweighed by remembering we gave our pets incredible lives in a pampering hotel, and they repaid the favour with their loyalty, love and fun.
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Still really sad though, so sorry @Weststander so difficult…….

Feel for you @pasty and @swindonseagull

When my dog got put down it was awful, even though I was 18, he’d been with me since 3. Then without a pet for years, my son’s cat, who sat with me all day when at work…… truly heartbreaking
 


Weststander

Weststander

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Aug 25, 2011
64,087
Withdean area
One Teddy Maybank said:
Still really sad though, so sorry @Weststander so difficult…….

Feel for you @pasty and @swindonseagull

When my dog got put down it was awful, even though I was 18, he’d been with me since 3. Then without a pet for years, my son’s cat, who sat with me all day when at work…… truly heartbreaking
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Threads such as these reveal the best of humanity, good people. Imho.
 








AmexRuislip

AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,824
Ruislip
swindonseagull said:
Our springer has had to be put to sleep today, he was 15 suffering bad arthritis in his rear legs, they kept collapsing he was totally deaf and for a few months had become incontinent in the house.

Hardest decision we had to make.

The feeling of guilt is enormous.
But he could not run around or enjoy all the things he used to enjoy.

Sleep well Tenby….
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Sorry to hear of your loss Andy 😊
 








jcdenton08

jcdenton08

Enemy of the People
NSC Patron
Oct 17, 2008
10,712
Can’t say I’ve ever felt “guilty”. I’ve felt sad, really f***ing sad, but never guilty. I’ve given all my pets the best life I can, and as their caregiver would only take the decision to euthanise if it was the absolute best thing for them.
 


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