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Big manly tips for housework



Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,888
West west west Sussex
Forget all the 'it's woman's work' bollox, we all have to do a bit sometimes.

Naturally being men, and superior, we just make sure it's all done in 10 mins, not all day. So we don't spend all night moaning about how much work we've done.

Whilst hoovering tip 1 occurred to me:-

Tip 1, Use the hoover to clean up the crumbs on the kitchen work top, and dining room table.

None of this damp cloth and detergent cack, that's just another job..

Right I'm off for a pooh.
 




Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
I think you will find most peopple do that anyway but follow it up with a detergant and wipedown to actually clean the thing. You may also find this is the shittest thread started on here since The Truth figured out how to use a keyboard.
 






Kumquat

New member
Mar 2, 2009
4,459
My girlfriend won't let me do any of the housework. She insists on doing it all while I am out or otherwise occupied. She says this is because she wants the place to be nice for me when I get home from work. I remember how upset she was one day when she was ill and couldn't do the washing-up. But I didn't want her feeling guilty or worried so I said "It's ok darling, just do it when the nurofen starts to take effect" and sat down to watch TV.
 




Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,888
West west west Sussex
I think you will find most peopple do that anyway but follow it up with a detergant and wipedown to actually clean the thing. You may also find this is the shittest thread started on here since The Truth figured out how to use a keyboard.
That's a bit harsh, Nibs.
This is the forum that is currently bringing Andy Carroll for Brighton.
 


Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
That's a bit harsh, Nibs.
This is the forum that is currently bringing Andy Carroll for Brighton.

Ha! Sorry Mr Brother read harsher than I intended. Okay my tip for cleaning? Sprinkle a little bit of washing powder on the carpet before you hoover, smells lovely. Likewise sprinkle some at the bottom of the bin, stays fresh and dandy then. And after you have polished spray a small amount of polish on the radiators, when the yheat up it smells super...I'm a bit OCD about smells in the gaff!
 


Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,888
West west west Sussex
Ha! Sorry Mr Brother read harsher than I intended. Okay my tip for cleaning? Sprinkle a little bit of washing powder on the carpet before you hoover, smells lovely. Likewise sprinkle some at the bottom of the bin, stays fresh and dandy then. And after you have polished spray a small amount of polish on the radiators, when the yheat up it smells super...I'm a bit OCD about smells in the gaff!
You're doing more work.

I want less.

Tip 2, Hoover the dogs, not the carpet.
 




Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
You're doing more work.

I want less.

Tip 2, Hoover the dogs, not the carpet.
The polish on the rads makes less if you don't want to polish th ehouse but have the missus think you have.
 












Poyetry In Motion

Pooetry Motions
Feb 26, 2009
3,556
6.61 miles from the Amex
Tip 5, be out all the time so it never gets messy

Tip 5.1 do your number twos in other people's bogs so you don't have to clean it up
Tip 5.2 shower at the gym, ditto

Also, it saves on expensive lavatory paper ( Nouvelle - I'm looking at you ) plus, someone elses home can have the fetid stench of your inner system. Simples
 




Kumquat

New member
Mar 2, 2009
4,459
The other thing to do is make sure the standards don't drop. I noticed a few months back that my girlfriend was not cleaning the toilet as often, putting bleach down it less frequently, replacing the toilet duck less diligently. Now these are all easy things to do and I could have done them myself, but then she would not have realised and been able to correct her laxity. So I made a big show of opening the toilet windows and holding my nose while saying "God it stinks in here". She spent the entire afternoon cleaning the whole room.
 










Box of Frogs

Zamoras Left Boot
Oct 8, 2003
4,751
Right here, right now
Wrap your dog in clingfilm to stop moulting hairs fouling your carpet areas. Remember to leave holes at either end for food/drink to go in and out!
 


Aadam

Resident Plastic
Feb 6, 2012
1,130
I pay someone else to do it. Simples.

yeahthat.gif
 


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