bristolseagull
Well-known member
Right, I'm sure its been done a hundred times on here before, but, I'm best man in a few weeks and haven't started my speech yet, which are the best sites to use??
I thank you...
I thank you...
Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
Best man speech
- Thread starter bristolseagull
- Start date
Cue joke about TV's, aerials and good reception.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Sheebo
Well-known member
- Jul 13, 2003
- 29,319
*insertBridesname* you look wonderful today. Ever since i first met you i knew you were going to marry a rich and hansome man. So it's a good job *Groomsname* got in there first!
CECIL may like this thread too as he's a Best Man in just 2 weeks... Can't wait to heckle the speech
CECIL may like this thread too as he's a Best Man in just 2 weeks... Can't wait to heckle the speech
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Before I finish, I would like to give some general advice on the ingredients to a long and happy marriage.
Something that my wife and I have done over the years to keep the magic and romance alive in our marriage is this. At least once a week we like to make the time to get all dressed up, get out of the house and and go out to a nice restaurant to enjoy some good food, a little wine, some pleasant company and polite conversation. She’ll go on Tuesdays, whilst usually I'll go on the Fridays.
Something that my wife and I have done over the years to keep the magic and romance alive in our marriage is this. At least once a week we like to make the time to get all dressed up, get out of the house and and go out to a nice restaurant to enjoy some good food, a little wine, some pleasant company and polite conversation. She’ll go on Tuesdays, whilst usually I'll go on the Fridays.
Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
I've been asked to look over a few in the past couple of years and I think the biggest mistake is writing the whole thing down and reading from a sheet with far too many poor/obvious gags.
I am due to do one in September. The plan is to write a few notes on a n index card and go with the flow. The bride to be wants to be crying with laughter, so no pressure.
Rather than working with a set joke, I am highlighting bits of both their lives and intend to make a subtle joke from the various things I come up with.
Having said that, as a starter for ten, I am going with either...
"I thought I should keep this speech to a short address. Something I was trying to convince DB the bridesmaids should wear"
or
"A Vicar once told me the secret to deciding the length of a sermon, or speech in this instance, should correlate to the length of a ladies skirt. Short enough to arouse interest. Long enough to cover the essentials".
I am due to do one in September. The plan is to write a few notes on a n index card and go with the flow. The bride to be wants to be crying with laughter, so no pressure.
Rather than working with a set joke, I am highlighting bits of both their lives and intend to make a subtle joke from the various things I come up with.
Having said that, as a starter for ten, I am going with either...
"I thought I should keep this speech to a short address. Something I was trying to convince DB the bridesmaids should wear"
or
"A Vicar once told me the secret to deciding the length of a sermon, or speech in this instance, should correlate to the length of a ladies skirt. Short enough to arouse interest. Long enough to cover the essentials".
Last edited:
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
"Its been a very emotional day. Even the cake is in tiers".
Man of Harveys
Well-known member
"It may come as little surprise to most of you that this is not the first time today that I've found myself sweating whilst clutching a small piece of white paper"
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am the Best Man, so in time-honoured tradition I will do my best to give *groom* the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life. For the record, the most uncomfortable five minutes of *bride*'s life will take place later on tonight, courtesy of *groom*"
Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
Whatever you do, keep a little notepad with you at all times until the speech. There will be plenty of material popping into your head between now and 'Please welcome [BristolSeagull]'.
There will be material from the night before, the morning and the actual service to add to the speech.
There will be material from the night before, the morning and the actual service to add to the speech.
jamie1972
New member
In *Bride*, *Groom* has found a woman who is good looking, charming, intelligent, fun and a good friend to all of us.
In *Groom*, *Bride* has found a man.
(all in the timing that one).
In *Groom*, *Bride* has found a man.
(all in the timing that one).
Man of Harveys
Well-known member
Absolutely the WORST I ever heard was a cringe-inducing POEM about a couple who'd met during their finals at university, which somehow tortuously ended up with "...though rumours of slacking were rife, but now he has made her his wife". And that was the best bit. Truly foul.
Not as bad as the best man at a mate's wedding, who talked about three rings: the engagement ring, wedding ring and now the "suffer" ring. And that "joke" which was probably fairly fresh in about 1948, was the best bit about his shit speech.
Strange wedding that. Half his mates were top blokes, the other half (including his best man) were absolute geeky gimps.
My only tip is to actually prepare a speech. Don't try and wing it, unless you want to look like an arrogant nob.
blue and white army
New member
They say being a best man is like kissing the Queen, its a great honour but no one wants to do it 
Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
Why?
SpongebobSquarepants
Well-known member
Did a best man speech a few months ago and would advise reading the speech aloud a few times just to get the flow of it right.
I used this
'Can I just clarify where the couple are going on Honeymoon, as the bride told me (wherever they are going) and the groom said North Wales?
When they tell you where they are going you can reply
'That's strange as the groom told me he was going to Bangor all week'!!
I used this
'Can I just clarify where the couple are going on Honeymoon, as the bride told me (wherever they are going) and the groom said North Wales?
When they tell you where they are going you can reply
'That's strange as the groom told me he was going to Bangor all week'!!
Brighton Breezy
New member
I've done two.
I think it is best to keep the jokes less about weddings in general as it can give the impression you have just looked on the web for them...
I think it is best to keep the jokes less about weddings in general as it can give the impression you have just looked on the web for them...
I've been to three weddings where the best man has decided he can handle a wedding speech without preparing and on each occasion has done a shit job of it.
Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
Ah OK. I thought it might be a bit more free flowing if there is room for ad lib without losing your place on a bit of paper and you are more likely to engage the guests if you are looking at them and not concentrating on reading from a script.
I guess one could try and memorise the speech.