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Easy 10
24-08-2006, 20:31
Blimey, just seen this in the Argus.


Hollywood actor Samuel L. Jackson will be at the Withdean Stadium this Sunday afternoon as a guest of the Albion for the League One clash against Crewe Alexandra.

Jackson, (below) who has starred alongside some of Hollywoods biggest a-list actors in box office smash hits such as Pulp Fiction, Star Wars and The Godfather, is in Brighton this weekend promoting his latest movie Snakes on a Plane. He will also be signing copies of his new autobiography “The One That Says Bad Motherf***er” in Waterstones, Churchill Square, from 11am on Saturday. Albion Chief Executive Martin Perry said: “It’s a tremendously exciting prospect for everyone at the club. We’re hoping Samuel will make the draw for the Withdean Wager, and then say a few words at half time. He’s well known as a big sports fan, and has even been to a Liverpool game while he’s been over here. Of course we’ll be offering slightly more humble surroundings than Anfield, but I’m sure he’ll be made to feel just as welcome”.

Seagulls Chairman Dick Knight revealed that they had met once before. “Sam and I met in LA about five years ago” said Knight. “My hire car had a puncture, so I was stuck on the hard shoulder of one of those big American freeways. I’m not much use changing tyres as my thumbs are freakishly small, so I was relieved when a huge Hum-Vee pulled up behind me, and who should jump out but Samuel L. Jackson. It was all quite surreal because Uma Thurman was in the passenger seat, and I could see George Clooney in the back. He seemed to be grappling with a small aggressive mongrel, so they just stayed in the car. But Sam was fantastic, he changed the wheel and I was on my way in a jiffy. I’ve been hoping to have the chance to thank him properly one day, and with him being in Brighton this weekend, this seemed like the ideal opportunity” smiled Dick, and went on: “It just goes to show the sheer calibre of celebrity we can attract to Brighton. If we can get Samuel L. Jackson to come to Withdean, imagine who we could attract to Falmer. We’d get Richard Dreyfuss or Dustin Hoffman there no bother”.

Jackson, who’s middle name is Simon, will not be available to meet fans at the ground. However, it is hoped that he will be signing some Albion shirts and mugs in the hospitality suite after the game for auction. Tickets for the game are still available, and can be booked by calling the ticket office on 01273 776992.

http://www.veryimportantpotheads.com/site/freeman.gif

Tony Meolas Loan Spell
24-08-2006, 20:33
Even better a picture of Morgan Freeman has been used!!! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

seagully
24-08-2006, 20:33
:lolol:

Gazwag
24-08-2006, 20:33
Originally posted by Easy 10

http://www.veryimportantpotheads.com/site/freeman.gif


:D :jester:

JJ McClure
24-08-2006, 20:34
:lolol: :lolol:

Gazwag
24-08-2006, 20:34
You know what, the L stands for Leroy, now we know who it really is

tinx
24-08-2006, 20:35
superb.

Da Man Clay
24-08-2006, 20:35
:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

Basil Fawlty
24-08-2006, 20:36
:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

Artois
24-08-2006, 20:38
That's the funniest thing I've read for a long long time.

:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

Genuine LOL

Trufflehound
24-08-2006, 20:39
So is he Insider then?

Herne Hill Seagull
24-08-2006, 20:39
Originally posted by gazwag
You know what, the L stands for Leroy, now we know who it really is

Easy quite clearly stated that his middle name is Simon, so the L clearly stands for Simon, gaz. Keep up. :angry:

Easy 10
24-08-2006, 21:00
Crikey, I've never had a STICKY
(not like this anyway) :jester:

desprateseagull
24-08-2006, 22:35
why is he not available to meet the fans??

B.M.F
25-08-2006, 01:12
I don't find this thread funny at all. I have had call after call since this was posted by the Teletubbies who have hired me to take out those pesky tweenies Sunday. They now think I have not kept my side of the bargain even though they threw in a Big Kahuna Burger and some sprite to seal the deal.:angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:

Easy 10
25-08-2006, 01:35
Oh well allow me to RETORT

B.M.F
25-08-2006, 01:48
Originally posted by Easy 10
Oh well allow me to RETORT

You will be retorting when I lay my vengance upon theehttp://www.websitegoodies.com/smilies/gfx/fighting0023.gif

Easy 10
25-08-2006, 01:56
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and fuuuurious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

B.M.F
25-08-2006, 01:59
Originally posted by Easy 10
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and fuuuurious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

and don't you forget it;) :lolol:

1066gull
25-08-2006, 02:30
so what stand is he sitting in?

Easy 10
25-08-2006, 02:44
He's next to me, in D block.

Gotsmanov
25-08-2006, 03:20
Easy 10, sometimes you're rip-roaringly hilarious. Unfortunately, I work in the club shop and had to deal with call after call from mid-afternoon onwards with people wanting to know if Samuel L. (Simon) Jackson was really coming to the game.

It's just a shame none of us in the club shop were smart enough to take commercial advantage of this spoof.

Easy 10
25-08-2006, 03:28
Oh god, please tell me you're JOKING

If not and I've caused you any hassle, I apologise profusely.

:blush:

Scotty Mac
25-08-2006, 04:17
:clap: :clap:

London Irish
25-08-2006, 04:30
Originally posted by Gotsmanov
Easy 10, sometimes you're rip-roaringly hilarious. Unfortunately, I work in the club shop and had to deal with call after call from mid-afternoon onwards with people wanting to know if Samuel L. (Simon) Jackson was really coming to the game.

It's just a shame none of us in the club shop were smart enough to take commercial advantage of this spoof.

I've thought about this for a few minutes now and can't quite work out if that's:
a) really funny, or
b) really depressing

Gully
25-08-2006, 04:55
The first paragraph was totally believable, and I did, the rest was probably the best fictional prose I have read in ages.

Everest
25-08-2006, 05:20
Could do a job

ˇCereal Killer!
25-08-2006, 06:02
:( I was getting my hopes up there :(

desprateseagull
25-08-2006, 06:24
NSC. when you absolutely positively have to talk about every lucky mucker in the room.

Munkfish
25-08-2006, 06:46
Originally posted by Easy 10
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and fuuuurious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Thats my msg alert :clap2:

Robot Chicken
25-08-2006, 07:15
Originally posted by Easy 10
"I’m not much use changing tyres as my thumbs are freakishly small"
http://img357.imageshack.us/img357/84/haha1ee.gif

"...and I could see George Clooney in the back. He seemed to be grappling with a small aggressive mongrel, so they just stayed in the car."
http://img450.imageshack.us/img450/5059/rotfl29vv.gif

granny weatherwax
25-08-2006, 15:15
Originally posted by London Irish
I've thought about this for a few minutes now and can't quite work out if that's:
a) really funny, or
b) really depressing


:lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

Tom Hark, Preston Park
25-08-2006, 16:46
Originally posted by Easy 10
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and fuuuurious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Is that a quote from Ben Thatcher?

Loft23
25-08-2006, 17:36
I believed it for a few seconds until I saw the picture of Morgan Freeman below!

Northstander
25-08-2006, 18:28
NSC GOLD

:lolol: :lolol: :clap2: :lolol: :lolol:
:bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:

Le Premier Cru
25-08-2006, 18:40
Class.:bowdown:

CHAPPERS
25-08-2006, 20:44
'What's Chappers' favourite bit?', I hear you ask

Originally posted by Easy 10


Jackson, who’s middle name is Simon, [/img]

Well, it's this bit.

Gritt23
25-08-2006, 20:54
Well played sir, a top spoof.

:clap2:

Garry Nelson's Left Foot
25-08-2006, 21:26
Very possibly your finest work, Easy. The first paragraph was totally believable. Then it quickly descends into comic GENIUS.:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

'Jackson, whose middle name is Simon'

'freakishly small thumbs'

'it just goes to show the sheer quality of celebrity we can attract to Brighton'

A photo of Morgan Freeman.



:clap2: :bowdown: :clap2: :bowdown: :clap2:

maffew
26-08-2006, 11:26
:lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol:


http://www.northstandchat.biz/showthread.php?s=&threadid=83515

dougdeep
26-08-2006, 15:29
I heard it was Michael Jackson.

Braders
26-08-2006, 22:41
:lolol: gold.simple.

Woodchip
27-08-2006, 04:54
:lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

Excellent work Easy.

British Bulldog
27-08-2006, 06:36
Absolutle quality.

:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

desprateseagull
28-08-2006, 00:32
why is this thread still going? has been debunked on ask the club..

btw, i hear steven spielberg is at the next home game..

¤DăŃnĄ §ęăGüLL¤
28-08-2006, 00:50
Originally posted by dougdeep
I heard it was Michael Jackson.

Well he did go to Fulham that time

Robot Chicken
28-08-2006, 03:27
I thought he went to Tampa with the kids??

Braders
28-08-2006, 03:50
Originally posted by DĂnNĄ §ëĂGuLL©
Well he did go to Fulham that time

and Exeter.

dougdeep
28-08-2006, 12:05
I didn't see him. I want my money back. :jester:

Marc
28-08-2006, 16:55
Quality work Easy :clap2: