me and my mum nimby village visit.

[Kev the Ape]

me and my mum exciting adventure into nimbyland. i will tell you all about it if u say yes please.

[Kev the Ape]

i never told anyone this. but one monday morning me and my mum went to nimby land on a visit there with a our FALMER FOR ALL t-shirts on, we went past the field of dreams. then into the farm shop it was quite weird in there the women behind the counter look at us in a way i cant describe so we brought some eggs and then we went into nimbys village, and fed the ducks very delightful i kept singing we want falmer every time i saw a villager and they would just smile and walk away. and then we went over the bypass to their headquarters the swan pub and luckily the barman wasnt in there and a pleasant young lady served us and we just sat there minding our own business with our shirts on. after this we went over the bypass again and we saw plans for the stadium one in black and white outside a village house and the other outside the farm shop. we went back into the farm shop and we got some chicken stuff for them to eat and then we fed the chickens and they where lovely.

so anyone who wants to walk around falmer with their falmer for all T-shirts on then do it you will love it.

[fatboy]

Commas and full stops are useful for breaking up sentences otherwise they get very very long and difficult to read which is rather annoying but would be a lot less annoying if we had Falmer

[Kev the Ape]

fatboy i did.

[SussexSpur]

Commas, schmommas, I think that's a lovely, lovely story...

[RoyalAli]

Why don't you all converge on Falmer one day, and show them what good you do for all thier businesses?

I'm sure 15,000 people buying eggs from a Farm shop couldn't inconvenience them that much?
:lolol:

[magoo]

No, it's a local shop, for local people.

[Jesus Gul]

I'm sure 15,000 people buying eggs from a Farm shop couldn't inconvenience them that much?

might inconvenience the chicken though

[oldham gull]

Originally posted by magoo
No, it's a local shop, for local people.

And you're not local!

[magoo]

Originally posted by oldham gull
And you're not local!

Not local to Royston Vasey no.

[GUNTER]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
i never told anyone this. but one monday morning me and my mum went to nimby land on a visit there with a our FALMER FOR ALL t-shirts on, we went past the field of dreams. then into the farm shop it was quite weird in there the women behind the counter look at us in a way i cant describe so we brought some eggs and then we went into nimbys village, and fed the ducks very delightful i kept singing we want falmer every time i saw a villager and they would just smile and walk away. and then we went over the bypass to their headquarters the swan pub and luckily the barman wasnt in there and a pleasant young lady served us and we just sat there minding our own business with our shirts on. after this we went over the bypass again and we saw plans for the stadium one in black and white outside a village house and the other outside the farm shop. we went back into the farm shop and we got some chicken stuff for them to eat and then we fed the chickens and they where lovely.

so anyone who wants to walk around falmer with their falmer for all T-shirts on then do it you will love it.

Kev, i think you are a bit WARPED!! :lolol: :lolol:

Surely this has to feature on NSC gold.

[Everest]

Originally posted by GUNTER
Surely this has to feature on NSC gold.
The sooner it goes down the pages, the better.

It must have been during the school holidays if he went on a Monday. Monday? Mundane more like.

[BUTTERBALL]

Why?

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
i never told anyone this. but one monday morning me and my mum went to nimby land on a visit there with a our FALMER FOR ALL t-shirts on, we went past the field of dreams. then into the farm shop it was quite weird in there the women behind the counter look at us in a way i cant describe so we brought some eggs and then we went into nimbys village, and fed the ducks very delightful i kept singing we want falmer every time i saw a villager and they would just smile and walk away. and then we went over the bypass to their headquarters the swan pub and luckily the barman wasnt in there and a pleasant young lady served us and we just sat there minding our own business with our shirts on. after this we went over the bypass again and we saw plans for the stadium one in black and white outside a village house and the other outside the farm shop. we went back into the farm shop and we got some chicken stuff for them to eat and then we fed the chickens and they where lovely.

so anyone who wants to walk around falmer with their falmer for all T-shirts on then do it you will love it.

At first I couldn't believe what I was reading. I felt like saying,
"Close your mouth for a second, Kev, and let your arse breathe".
Then I read it again and I can't stop laughing. I've got a spate of the giggles. If ever I'm down in the dumps I'm going to come back to this one.

"we went back into the farm shop and we got some chicken stuff for them to eat and then we fed the chickens and they were lovely."
It's the way he tells them.

[Yoda]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
me and my mum exciting adventure into nimbyland. i will tell you all about it if u say yes please.

Did anyone say "yes please"? ?????????

[MattBackHome]

Can someone please tell me exactly what the fuck is happening here? "Fed the ducks very delightful"? Am I hallucinating? If this is intentional, Kev, then you're the funniest person on NSC. No question.

We are staying up.

[MattBackHome]

"i never told anyone this, but one monday morning me and my mum..."

Geeenius.

[Blackadder]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
we went past the field of dreams. then into the farm shop it was quite weird in there the women behind the counter look at us in a way i cant describe

No Need Kev, I think we get the picture!

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by Yoda
Did anyone say "yes please"? ?????????

No. They didn't, but who bloody cares.

I'm still laughing. I keep reading it over and over and over again. I'm splitting my sides.

Kev is a natural comedian. Put him on the stage B & R.

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by Buzza
No Need Kev, I think we get the picture!

Oh! Don't start me off again, Buzza. :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

[Blackadder]

:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

I know what you mean Wiz.

I keep saying, I must not post on these threads but I just can't help myself!:)

Funny thing is, I never bothered with the dwayne threads!

[Waterhall Wizard]

Oh Buz. This one is a classic. You can go to any segment of the ramblings and just burst out laughing.

Who needs 'Only Fools and Horses' when you have Kev.

Oh! I'm off again.

[Blackadder]

WW Just posted on another thread that this is one of the funniest I have read in ages! :lolol:

Easy 10 you have a serious challenger! And he's not even trying! :lolol:

I have to go to bed soon, this is hurting! :lolol: :lolol:

[Blackadder]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
me and my mum exciting adventure into nimbyland.

Just says it all!! :lolol:

Sorry but I have tears running down my cheek. (seriously)

I've only had a few pints tonight but this is hurting!

Kev, good man !
:clap: :clap: :clap:

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
. . . . . . . . . . . and then we went into nimbys village, and fed the ducks very delightful i kept singing we want falmer . . . . .

And there was Kev thinking that the ducks were after the food he had thrown when they kept plunging their heads under the water.

[Bwian]

Is Kev the Ape related to Perseus?

[Kryten]

perhaps there ought to be a kev the ape section nsc gold?

[GUNTER]

I'll second that. Kev the Ape is a superstar :clap2:

I bounced this thread yesterday because when I read it, I could not beleive that most people had missed it. The more you read it, the funnier it gets.

What about Kev the Ape wandering up to villagers singing "we want Falmer"

Read, read again and enjoy.

[magoo]

Google picture search for kev the ape. (http://www.fleshhammer.com/gallery/data/media/4/hammer-kev_ape.JPG)

[Scotty Mac]

if kev tried to be funny he wouldn't be

and you haven't experienced anything until sitting next to him at a match:nono:

[maffew]

I think hes a wind up, all these posts cant be for real.

[Scotty Mac]

Originally posted by maffew
I think hes a wind up, all these posts cant be for real.

trust me, they are for real

[sheebo]

oh dear!a candidate for most pointless, boring post AGAIN Kevin:ohmy:

[maffew]

Originally posted by Scotty M
trust me, they are for real

I cant believe it..

get him to get Kev The Ape on the back of his Albion shirt so we can spot him at the next home game. 50p each, will only take 18 of us to chip in at £1 per letter if hes skint

[Marc]

sweet JESUS how did I ever miss this beauty, pure GENIUS from someone who aint even trying......see'ya later Easy we have a NEW King :bowdown:

[Scotty Mac]

Originally posted by maffew
I cant believe it..

get him to get Kev The Ape on the back of his Albion shirt so we can spot him at the next home game. 50p each, will only take 18 of us to chip in at £1 per letter if hes skint

he looks like an ape and wears a blue hat usually

[Blackadder]

Originally posted by Scotty M
he looks like an ape and wears a blue hat usually

Scotty.

Where do you and Kev sit?

[Easy 10]

I'm not even going to try to compete with this. I'm WAY out of my league.

[Easy 10]

I'm not even going to try to compete with this. I'm WAY out of my league.

[Easy 10]

It needed saying twice I feel.

[Scotty Mac]

Originally posted by Buzza
Scotty.

Where do you and Kev sit?

i dont sit with him at home matches, he sits in c block. sometimes i sit with him at away matches, it depends who i go with

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by Buzza
Scotty.

Where do you and Kev sit?

Buzza. These two stand out a mile when they're at Withdean. Scott sits on his arse, like us all, but Kev is on his head.

I am so pleased that more people are being alerted to this classic. Gems like this are even better than ones like what Ernie Wise wrote.

Buzz, did you finally get off to sleep last night? I was still trying to suppress the giggles when I got in to bed. I don't know how I didn't wake the missus up. Even today, sometimes without warning, a broad smile has appeared on my face.

[Blackadder]

I did WW. :)

I sit in C Block as well! :eek:

[Kev the Ape]

the funniest thing was when i went in the pub was this bloke was talking on his phone so loudly, he stopped half way through when we ordered the drinks and he said on the phone, two Brighton fans have just walked in and he hanged up quickly and stared at us all the way through our drink.

[Scotty Mac]

Originally posted by Buzza
I did WW. :)

I sit in C Block as well! :eek:

he's near the back, on the end of a row

[Blackadder]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
the funniest thing was when i went in the pub was this bloke was talking on his phone so loudly, he stopped half way through when we ordered the drinks and he said on the phone, two Brighton fans have just walked in and he hanged up quickly and stared at us all the way through our drink.

Oh No, You are setting me off again! :lolol: :lolol:

Please stop!

[Kev the Ape]

sorry buzza but some things have just flashed back my memory for that lovely day out in nimbyville.

[Blackadder]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
sorry buzza but some things have just flashed back my memory for that lovely day out in nimbyville.

Carry on please!:)

[Dover]

Falmer will never be the same again. :clap2:

[Blackadder]

Originally posted by Dover
Falmer will never be the same again. :clap2:

I'm looking forward to the film! :)

[Kev the Ape]

if i can remember rightly the vicar came out and had a word with us. And he said to us " what kind of example will Brighton fans have with the church". I thought to myself what we going to do on a saturday pray in the church before 3 pm and pray brighton win 4-0.

[Kryten]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
if i can remember rightly the vicar came out and had a word with us. And he said to us " what kind of example will Brighton fans have with the church". I thought to myself what we going to do on a saturday pray in the church before 3 pm and pray brighton win 4-0.

I see this ending with the whole village coming out, and holding a welcoming celebration for you.

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by Buzza
Oh No, You are setting me off again! :lolol: :lolol:

Please stop!

No! No! Kev, please don't stop. You carry on. You're doing a great job.

Surely you are holding out on us. Something else must have happened. Let's have all of memories of the day. Start with the journey there; let's hear about the weather; what your mum drank in the pub, what you drank, etc.

[Scotty Mac]

:lolol: :lolol:

that makes no sense, but it just sounds bloody ridiculous

[Kev the Ape]

the weather was hot and sunny, and i thought the ducks where going to have a sunbath. The pub was grotty, and there was the most unusual picture i have ever seen, the picture was a the landlord sitting there near the site and there was a speech bubble next to it saying there aint A SEAGULL in sight. :angry:, and i warn you never drink a glass of coke in there.

[Scotty Mac]

kev, do you wanna go to falmer next week? i want to experience it for myself

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
and i warn you never drink a glass of coke in there.

Why? Was it Virgin Coke? You tell Scott's dad. The landlord will have another customer. It's his favourite tipple.

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by Waterhall Wizard
Why? Was it Virgin Coke? You tell Scott's dad. The landlord will have another customer. It's his favourite tipple.

nope it weren't it was somethink called star and i after i drank it i felt really sick. two old ladies wanted to know why falmer is the only site so me and my mum had to stand there talking to some nimbys and explaining why we need our stadium and why it was the only site. :clap2:

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by Scotty M
kev, do you wanna go to falmer next week? i want to experience it for myself

yeah if you want to. :D

[Scotty Mac]

Originally posted by Waterhall Wizard
Why? Was it Virgin Coke? You tell Scott's dad. The landlord will have another customer. It's his favourite tipple.

my dad HATES virgin cola, he'd probably rather drink his own urine.




actually, thats going a bit far

[Blackadder]

Originally posted by Buzza
Oh No, You are setting me off again! :lolol: :lolol:

Please stop!

Originally posted by Waterhall Wizard
No! No! Kev, please don't stop. You carry on. You're doing a great job.

Surely you are holding out on us. Something else must have happened. Let's have all of memories of the day. Start with the journey there; let's hear about the weather; what your mum drank in the pub, what you drank, etc.



The "Please stop" referred to my aching sides! :)

As mentioned before, Carry on!

[Kev the Ape]

another thing. when i walked past a man painting his house ( he looked about 60 :eek: with a false leg). He turned round a flick some paint at us but missed because he didnt throw it hard enoguh and landed on the pavement. :nono:

[Dover]

Originally posted by Buzza
I'm looking forward to the film! :)


...Speilberg to direct I hope. Who do you think should play Kev?

[CHAPPERS]

Originally posted by Dover
...Speilberg to direct I hope. Who do you think should play Kev?

Tom Hanks.

''My Mum always said life is like a box of chocolates''

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
nope it weren't it was somethink called star and i after i drank it i felt really sick. two old ladies wanted to know why falmer is the only site so me and my mum had to stand there talking to some nimbys and explaining why we need our stadium and why it was the only site. :clap2:

Kev. You forgot to tell us how you moved out of there, pretty damn quick, when you saw the notice saying that unruly children would be sold as slaves.

[Dover]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
another thing. when i walked past a man painting his house ( he looked about 60 :eek: with a false leg). He turned round a flick some paint at us but missed because he didnt throw it hard enoguh and landed on the pavement. :nono:


Are you Italian by any chance?:lolol:

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by Waterhall Wizard
Kev. You forgot to tell us how you moved out of there, pretty damn quick, when you saw the notice saying that unruly children would be sold as slaves.

well i after we fed the chickens, a car nearly ran us over!!! :angry:, so we heading out of nimbyville and looked at the site one more time. If we didnt leave then we might of not been here today because that bloke who nearly ran us over had a evil look in his eye.

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by Dover
Are you Italian by any chance?:lolol:

no :lolol:

[Kev the Ape]

i really want to see the pond freeze over in the winter. so i can carve in the ice, WE WANT FALMER!!!!!!!

[Kev the Ape]

i got a film name, attack on nimbyville.

[Couldn't give a rats arse]

More bounces than Vanessa Feltz and Russell Grant wrestling Rik Waller and Jordan on a bouncy castle. :eek:

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
i really want to see the pond freeze over in the winter. so i can carve in the ice, WE WANT FALMER!!!!!!!

If the pond does freeze over, Kev, don't carve the words. You can write them with your piss, and if the words are in Kelly's handwriting we will know that there has been a happy ending to another story.

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by Waterhall Wizard
If the pond does freeze over, Kev, don't carve the words. You can write them with your piss, and if the words are in Kelly's handwriting we will know that there has been a happy ending to another story.

:lolol: kelly would be able to spell.

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
:lolol: kelly wouldn't be able to spell.

[Halftime Oranges]

Originally posted by Jesus Gul
might inconvenience the chicken though

:lolol:

[Kev the Ape]

why did the chicken cross the road??? he wanted to get run over by a nimby.

[John Boy]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
why did the chicken cross the road??? he wanted to get run over by a nimby.

I am lost for words

[Kev the Ape]

why did the duck go to pray?? because he wants the stadium.

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by John Boy
I am lost for words

Kev's not!

[John Boy]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
why did the duck go to pray?? because he wants the stadium.

Was that a joke?

[Kev the Ape]

somethink like that :lolol:

[Scotty Mac]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
why did the duck go to pray?? because he wants the stadium.


what the hell?:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

[Couldn't give a rats arse]

Originally posted by Scotty M
what the hell?:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

That's what happens when he tries to be funny.

[Northstander]

THIS HAS TO BE NSC GOLD!!!!


:clap2: :clap2: :lolol: :lolol: :clap2: :clap2:

[3gulls]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
i never told anyone this. but one monday morning me and my mum went to nimby land on a visit there with a our FALMER FOR ALL t-shirts on, we went past the field of dreams. then into the farm shop it was quite weird in there the women behind the counter look at us in a way i cant describe so we brought some eggs and then we went into nimbys village, and fed the ducks very delightful i kept singing we want falmer every time i saw a villager and they would just smile and walk away. and then we went over the bypass to their headquarters the swan pub and luckily the barman wasnt in there and a pleasant young lady served us and we just sat there minding our own business with our shirts on. after this we went over the bypass again and we saw plans for the stadium one in black and white outside a village house and the other outside the farm shop. we went back into the farm shop and we got some chicken stuff for them to eat and then we fed the chickens and they where lovely.

so anyone who wants to walk around falmer with their falmer for all T-shirts on then do it you will love it.

You forgot the visit to the sweet shop, or was mummy unkind? :lolol:

[Northstander]

I see what you mean when, "The more you read it the funnier it gets!!

Quote : we went back into the farm shop and we got some chicken stuff for them to eat and then we fed the chickens and they where lovely.


:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

[Tom the Croc]

Scott - I demand to come to Falmer with you and Kev. Falmer and Sunderland in one week with the ape will make my life complete.

[Voroshilov]

That reads like the stories you write in infants school. What I Did during the school holidays

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by The Northstander
I see what you mean when, "The more you read it the funnier it gets!!

Quote : we went back into the farm shop and we got some chicken stuff for them to eat and then we fed the chickens and they where lovely.


:lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

You're catching on Northstander.

I've been wandering around town today with a broad grin on my face. Just picture a sixty year old guy, with a false leg, up a ladder, deliberately flicking white paint at Kev and his mum with a paint brush. :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol:

[turienzo's lovechild]

this thread is completely class

"the world through the eyes of kev"
kev- i truly believe that you are genuine but if you are not please learn to engage your brain

[Scotty Mac]

Originally posted by Tom the Croc
Scott - I demand to come to Falmer with you and Kev. Falmer and Sunderland in one week with the ape will make my life complete.

is this i think it is?

and if so is the themed evening still on?

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by tommy boy
this thread is completely class

"the world through the eyes of kev"
kev- i truly believe that you are genuine but if you are not please learn to engage your brain

That is the beauty of it, tommy boy. He didn't try to be funny with his original piece.

[turienzo's lovechild]

kev the ape- the optimum advert for the english state schooling system

[Scotty Mac]

Originally posted by tommy boy
kev the ape- the optimum advert for the english state schooling system

well he did go to hove park........

[turienzo's lovechild]

Originally posted by Scotty M
well he did go to hove park........
:)

[Waterhall Wizard]

Originally posted by Scotty M
well he did go to hove park........

Don't get the link.

I went to Hove Park many times. When I was a kid it was to play football and in my youth it was to shag.

Did they name a school after my leisure centre?

[Scotty Mac]

Originally posted by Waterhall Wizard
Don't get the link.

I went to Hove Park many times. When I was a kid it was to play football and in my youth it was to shag.

Did they name a school after my leisure centre?

hove park school

[Windmill]

Kev, just had a thought. Can we have your Mum's take on all of this. Does she have a version of events? Could she share it with us on NSC?

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by tadley gull
Kev, just had a thought. Can we have your Mum's take on all of this. Does she have a version of events? Could she share it with us on NSC?

i will ask.

[Strike]

Can I join you, Scotty M and Tommy Boy for a tour of Falmer next week as well. It really will be an experience. Your thread is NSC Gold. LOL

[Kev the Ape]

thanks people, you have to go round there. but make sure you meet the landlord this time.

[Kev the Ape]

my mum views on it was she dont have a clue what the fuss it all about because you can not see the site from the village. There is no village green.

MUM WORDS QUIET VILLAGE MY ARSE. :lolol:

[CHAPPERS]

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG GGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

KILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL IT

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by ChapmansThe Saviour
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG GGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

KILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL ITKILL IT

kill wot???

[Kev the Ape]

i really wanted to play football on the site, but the sound of the grasshoppers did'nt sound to friendly. and the lovely sight of a dead rabbit on the pavement. I thought how could this be a beautiful village.

[Kev the Ape]

that shouldnt of been added to the story.

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
that shouldnt of been added to the story.

wrong spelling. Should of been added to the story.

[CHAPPERS]

Can someone please KILL IT.

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by ChapmansThe Saviour
Can someone please KILL IT.

someone please kill you

[Kev the Ape]

my mum views on it was she dont have a clue what the fuss it all about because you can not see the site from the village. There is no village green.

MUM WORDS QUIET VILLAGE MY ARSE.

[Everest]

Yes Kev, you've said that before. Now please

SHUT THE FCUK UP

I was quite willing to let you carry on with your totally mundane story, but it has got beyond a joke now.

No-one gives a damn about your infatuation with your mother and where you take her on dates.

Anybody got a shotgun? It's half term next week!

[fatbadger]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
wrong spelling. Should of been added to the story.

wrong WORD, you :dunce:

It's "Should have been added to the story", not 'Should of...".

[dougdeep]

Will this be the longest thread in the board's history?:lolol:

[Lammy]

then into the farm shop it was quite weird in there the women behind the counter look at us in a way i cant describe so we brought some eggs and then we went into nimbys village, and fed the ducks very delightful i kept singing we want falmer every time i saw a villager and they would just smile and walk away.

I nearly passed out reading that!

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

:bowdown: :bowdown: Kev :bowdown: :bowdown:

[Kev the Ape]

i aint a god a legend or even a hero. i am just me.

[turienzo's lovechild]

jesus christ:nono:

[Raphael Meade]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
i aint a god a legend or even a hero. i am just me.

i fucking love you gumbo.

[Kev the Ape]

Originally posted by Raphael Meade
i fucking love you gumbo.

brillant film ID was. :lolol: :clap2:

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Kev you're alright in my book bruv and good for a laugh :lolol:
Keep it up.

[Kev the Ape]

there was once a Nimby called tom carr, he talked alot about the stadium, One day i went up to him and shot him in the head Now there no more tom carr.

[Lammy]

BAN HIM

[Everest]

There was a youngster called Ape
Who thought it a wonderful jape
If he clogged up this site
With a load of old shite
Until he was tied up with tape.

Shit ending I know.

[fatbadger]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
there was once a Nimby called tom carr, he talked alot about the stadium, One day i went up to him and shot him in the head Now there no more tom carr.

No wonder you're still at school - presumably you are re-doing primary school for the umpteenth time. Or is it just that your school is SHIT? Did you ever go to English lessons? Did no-one ever teach you to spell (or at least use a dictionary), or punctuate, or how to construct a proper sentence?

[turienzo's lovechild]

Originally posted by fatbadger
No wonder you're still at school - presumably you are re-doing primary school for the umpteenth time. Or is it just that your school is SHIT? Did you ever go to English lessons? Did no-one ever teach you to spell (or at least use a dictionary), or punctuate, or how to construct a proper sentence?
he went to hove park

'nuff said

[Everest]

Originally posted by tommy boy
he went to hove park

The actual park or the school?

Additional : he probably went on a trip to the park with his mum

[Scotty Mac]

Originally posted by Everest
The actual park or the school?

the school, but he would've been better off going to the park

[Raphael Meade]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
brillant film ID was. :lolol: :clap2:

err... yes. that was my point.

[Gwylan]

I've been prompted by the Kev poll to read this thread for this first time and I've hurt myself laughing.

I hadn't realised what a cult Kev had become - I'm going to look out for his threads.

[Strike]

I think its time we left Kev alone, and let him get on with life on this board. This threads he started will be remembered as legends though.

I don't care if I am a legend here or not, I believe I am not a legend.

[Kryten]

Originally posted by Strike


I don't care if I am a legend here or not, I believe I am not a legend.

thanks for that bit of useless information

[tedebear]

Originally posted by The Northstander
THIS HAS TO BE NSC GOLD!!!!


I sincerely hope not.... biggest load of tripe I've read on here in ages....

[Yorkie]

Originally posted by tedebear
I sincerely hope not.... biggest load of tripe I've read on here in ages....

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like that. It must be a bloke thing.

[Everest]

What she said (apart from the bloke thing)

[Biscuit]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
me and my mum exciting adventure into nimbyland. i will tell you all about it if u say yes please.

There you go.


One one said Yes Please.


You posted it anyway. :jester: :lolol:

[BUTTERBALL]

Originally posted by Kev the Ape
there was once a Nimby called tom carr, he talked alot about the stadium, One day i went up to him and shot him in the head Now there no more tom carr.

??? ???

[Rangdo]

Originally posted by Strike
I think its time we left Kev alone,

We've tried but he won't leave us alone.

[Everest]

Originally posted by dougdeep
I can't find the Falmer Village one! :(
Bounced just for you doug.

Bugger, didn't work. Oh well.

[dougdeep]

Thanks mate.

[Bluejuice]

So I finally found what all the fuss was about.

It is pretty sad to be sat at a computer screen in fits of giggles, tears rolling down the face, but good god that was a great read.

My face muscles ache.

When's the Kev The Ape fanzine out?

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Still cracks me up every time :lolol:

[DTES]

I've only just seen this this morning i don't believe I missed it.

Agree though it's only gets funnier after reading it again. And again.

[Normandy seagull]

This is an all time quality thread :lolol: :lolol:

[Edward Scissorhands]

.

[dougdeep]

Innocence. Ain't it lovely. When it's gone it's gone.

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

:lolol: is all i can say

[Waterhall Wizard]

You can now look back on this one Kev and think to yourself, "Did I really write this?" Your posts have improved immeasurably in content, sentence construction and spelling. You've done a lot of growing up in a few months.

There are many of us who are glad that we were around for your infant period and for this great piece of writing. This has to be the most amusing thread ever to be written on NSC. Thanks for the laughs Kev.

[Everest]

"we brought some eggs and then we went into nimbys village, and fed the ducks"

I've just thought, did you feed the eggs to the ducks? Were they cannibalistic ducks, or just paedophilic ducks?

[Northstander]

:wave:

hiya.....

[Strike]

REMEMBER, REMEMBER REMEMBER this legendary thread never forget, Kev u are a legend.:jester:

[Chesney Christ 1]

Originally posted by Strike
REMEMBER, REMEMBER REMEMBER this legendary thread never forget, Kev u are a legend.:jester:

Charles - this is the sort of thread you would write so I'm surprised you even get the joke. Not that I think you actually do.

[surrey jim]

Originally posted by Strike
REMEMBER, REMEMBER REMEMBER this legendary thread never forget, Kev u are a legend

:clap2: :clap2:

[Strike]

Originally posted by Chesney Christ 1
Charles - this is the sort of thread you would write so I'm surprised you even get the joke. Not that I think you actually do.

oi I can't think of anything similar to this thread.

[Chesney Christ 1]

Originally posted by Strike
oi I can't think of anything similar to this thread.

On NSP you've typed some of the most ridiculous bollocks I've ever ever witnessed. What about your thread asking who was better out of the England women's football team and the Brazil men's football team? Jeez.....

:shootself

[Strike]

I was pissed when I did that thread along with the sex thread, both now in NSP Gold u goon.:jester:

[Chesney Christ 1]

Originally posted by Strike
I was pissed when I did that thread along with the sex thread, both now in NSP Gold u goon.:jester:

Err, yeah I know they are in NSP Gold. Your point being?

[Strike]

That I have seen you doing the odd thread here pissed. :)

[Schrödinger's Toad]

:D

[Edward Scissorhands]

I thought you were "tired" when you posted those, Charles?